A Mottled Chaos of Splotches
It was either lunch - Madi's cranberry bread - or the Taco Bell I had for breakfast, but I spent a good portion of yesterday on my knees (of all days to wear a skirt) nodding to the toilet.
I have a weakness for cranberry bread, and it was a bit mucky/underdone inside, but I couldn't stop eating it. The fact that I'd bought a cute little glass bottle of milk at 7-11 didn't help either. Clearly I can't stop eating cranberry bread when there is still milk to be drunk. Mustn't waste milk.
Since my recent haircut (oh so cute) my hair won't quite stay in a scrunchy, and I forgot my bobby pins yesterday. Needless to say I got a lot of yack in my hair, which isn't cool when you're trying to maintain a professional attitude.
No, I am definitely not pregnant, thanks for asking. I checked, and am fetus-free.
Factoid - Acidic Barf will actually bleach the red dye out of your hair, revealing your true mousy brownish-grey in a mottled chaos of splotches. And I can't exactly trim these portions out, unless I want to look like I'm losing hair in clumps due to mange. Thank you no.
I left work not long after the first non-stop slop session, you know the kind where you think you might be done, only to discover another upcoming upchuck geyser.
You're not done you little bitch, not by a long shot.
When I finally came back from the bathroom, my boss saw my red and puffy face and teary eyes and thought I'd been molested at my desk.
No, but unless you want me borking on my keyboard, I should go home. He didn't even blink, and told me to go.
It's weird, and I might be the only one that feels this way, but a long barf session is actually something of a rush. I felt giddy and light headed, my blood was rushing in my ears and all that exodus felt like catharsis.
Riding the bus home to Dad's house was an adventure all its own, and I had to lean out of the exit door at one point and decorate the sidewalk. I felt so guilty about that - like it was a drive-by barfing or something. No way to clean it up. And it sizzled as it hit the hot pavement. The smell was lovely.
Feeling better today, but I have no desire to eat anything. This might be a good diet plan.
Litany Webb, signing off
Jump to Start..........TPoL..........Previous Post..........Next Post
I have a weakness for cranberry bread, and it was a bit mucky/underdone inside, but I couldn't stop eating it. The fact that I'd bought a cute little glass bottle of milk at 7-11 didn't help either. Clearly I can't stop eating cranberry bread when there is still milk to be drunk. Mustn't waste milk.
Since my recent haircut (oh so cute) my hair won't quite stay in a scrunchy, and I forgot my bobby pins yesterday. Needless to say I got a lot of yack in my hair, which isn't cool when you're trying to maintain a professional attitude.
No, I am definitely not pregnant, thanks for asking. I checked, and am fetus-free.
Factoid - Acidic Barf will actually bleach the red dye out of your hair, revealing your true mousy brownish-grey in a mottled chaos of splotches. And I can't exactly trim these portions out, unless I want to look like I'm losing hair in clumps due to mange. Thank you no.
I left work not long after the first non-stop slop session, you know the kind where you think you might be done, only to discover another upcoming upchuck geyser.
You're not done you little bitch, not by a long shot.
When I finally came back from the bathroom, my boss saw my red and puffy face and teary eyes and thought I'd been molested at my desk.
No, but unless you want me borking on my keyboard, I should go home. He didn't even blink, and told me to go.
It's weird, and I might be the only one that feels this way, but a long barf session is actually something of a rush. I felt giddy and light headed, my blood was rushing in my ears and all that exodus felt like catharsis.
Riding the bus home to Dad's house was an adventure all its own, and I had to lean out of the exit door at one point and decorate the sidewalk. I felt so guilty about that - like it was a drive-by barfing or something. No way to clean it up. And it sizzled as it hit the hot pavement. The smell was lovely.
Feeling better today, but I have no desire to eat anything. This might be a good diet plan.
Litany Webb, signing off
Jump to Start..........TPoL..........Previous Post..........Next Post
posted by Litany @ 11:19 AM
5 Comments
5 Comments:
Ugh, fun times. I think I need a unicorn chaser after reading that post.
well, it's the diet plan of supermodels everywhere, so how can you go wrong?
I hope you feel better soon!
facinating
nothing beats steamy puke sizzling on the sidewalk.
September 8?
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